Do you have a relationship that is having its rocky moments or maybe that has been off the rails for awhile?

Let’s remember that all relationships bring together the issues and strengths of both parties. When we remain in hurt, blame, and unforgiveness, nothing changes.

When you see the relationship as an observer, you see that both of you are involved. Issues that come up can benefit both of you. But, what gets in the way is blame–who’s right and who’s wrong. Blame also assumes that someone has to change.

So, here’s a simple way to clear a lot of the energy that keeps two people apart. It allows for a reset. It allows you both, at a soul level, to change your perspective. It’s called Ho’oponopono (Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.). How I do this is very simple and may not completely embody the intention of this practice.  However, I find it works.

Let’s first set the stage for this work. Judgment, unforgiveness, hurt, blame and more are experiences of our humanness. When we move into an observer mode, we see from a soul perspective. We see how often we get caught up in misperceptions; how often we are subject to the collective consciousness of beliefs; and how difficult it is to completely change our responses in an authentic way.

Once we recognize this, we have more compassion for ourselves and others.

So, let me share with you my experience of this kind of dilemma and how ho’onopono helped me:

While at a family gathering, I experienced intense judgment from one person. From my point of view, I was being judged for no good reason. It reminded me of other times I had been misunderstood and basically rejected because I had a different way of looking at things. I was not intending to say that mine was the only point of view, but I was responding to an invitation to share about my life.

As highly sensitive/intuitive people, we feel this kind of judgment almost like a body-slam. In my innocence (forgetting how these kinds of situations had gone before), I thought I would be heard and received. When, not only was I not heard or received, but I was judged, I was deeply hurt.

I used many of my tools to let go of the hurt and my own judgment of the other person that followed. That helped, but the residue was still there.

I was led to offer ho’onopono for someone else. That situation had nothing to do with me, but it did signal that I might try using this “tool” to release the residue in my situation.

I invited (via my mind) the person who had judged me to join me in a higher frequency of connection soul to soul. There I was reminded that every situation is about both people involved. That I was as much involved in the hurt and the resolution as the other person.

 So I used the process this way: In this soul to soul connection with the other person, I said, ” I’m sorry; please forgive me; I love you.”

 As humans, this tends to make no sense.  After all, I wasn’t the person who did the judging.

  And yet, basically we are all one. What happens to one, happens to all.

 It’s not that either of us did anything wrong, yet the human part of us really needs to own that it is part of the experience and the solution.

 As I said the words, I felt very emotional. I really wanted to let go of the residue of my hurt. I do love this person.

 I felt the hurt fall away.  I felt that closed part of my heart open. I knew that the next time I was at a family gathering I could go to it with an open heart while operating authentically and with discernment. I didn’t need to close down to keep from being hurt. I didn’t need to deny who I was. I could show up both open and aware, offering love and acceptance while intuitively understanding what others could accept and what might scare them.

 I could now send a virtual message to this person that said, “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to see how I can be with you in a new way.”

If you choose to try this “tool,” let me know what happens for you.

Arlene Arnold (Alandra)

Arlene Arnold is a certified Spiritual Guide & Healing Facilitator.  She has created tools for the journey since 1995.  Her internationally known Color Cards and Luminaries have been important tools for many.  Connect with her in the following ways:
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