Someone has to take the blame! And if it’s you, the expectation is that you will feel ashamed of what you caused.
Growing up, when one kid tattled on another, the parent felt obligated to assign blame and punishment. Some kids got real adept at playing the game and making sure they were not the ones who were called out to be blamed, even if they were the ones who started it. What a way to feel powerful!
The one being blamed either developed an anger streak that could erupt anytime they felt they were being put in a box, or they took on an overlay of belief that said they were no good and should be ashamed of who they were.
The one without blame found subtle ways to have more power. They honed their intuitive skills that recognized another person’s weakness, or need, and then played their life cards carefully so they always stayed in power.
Yikes! Either one of those scenarios requires a whole lot of energy to maintain!
Can you feel any form of those patterns lurking around in you? Wouldn’t you like to reclaim your energy and your integrity (who you truly are) even if the pattern of blame is only a small part of what shows up sometimes?
My version of this blame game (I was the one who felt I must have done something wrong…) finally began to dissolve by understanding that I am human. I am here to experience what it is to be human, which sometimes means acting in a way that doesn’t line up with who I really am. I had taken on an overlay of belief that I was supposed to be perfect.
Since that’s not going to happen in the way humanity expects, I always figured there was something wrong with me.
Eventually, I realized that this way of thinking had led me to live outside myself, instead of being fully present. That’s partially why Complementary Color Therapy became so important to me. The pairs of complementary colors bring together a warm color that connects to your human self and a cool color that connects to your deeper self. By working with these colors in pairs, I began to let go of these patterns that kept me small and ashamed because I wasn’t perfect, which freed me to learn from experiences and dissolve what didn’t work for me. Now I don’t even think about fault. No one is at fault. All of it is about choosing how we want to live. It’s also about letting go of those overlays of human patterns because we already got from them whatever we most needed.
Instead of being ashamed, I can celebrate my unique contribution. It’s no better, nor less than anyone else. It’s just different.
In the process of life, I will sometimes get off course. That’s being human. I can recognize it without blaming myself, and then choose what I want to do about it. And, I can think about what I would do instead if a similar situation were to come up.
So, I invite you to explore our brand of Color Therapy to see how those overlays of belief can easily be dissolved when you are finished with them. The ColorCards that I created can take you step by step into a deeper understanding of yourself–your strengths and also what you are still learning from the overlays. I recommend using them with the Mini ColorCards for some instant insight while you still have the opportunity to go deeper with the ColorCard Set.
PS: In the next blog I will talk about the other part of the equation, the one who ‘Holds the Power’.
“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong... Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.”